I don't even know how to sum up the past few, maybe even 6, months of my life.  I've been spotty on my blogging as much of what consumes my mind I felt best to keep to myself.  

In many different areas of my life, God has gone out of His way to reveal Himself to me.  That was a nice way of saying that He didn't work anything out like I thought He should have. He has convicted me.  He has blessed me.  He has lavished mercy on me.  And as much as it may leave me feeling like I'm on some sort of roller coaster, I don't ever want to get off.  I may have to lean over and puke off the side, but I'm not gonna get off. 

Addy started kindergarten.  She is at a school that, quite frankly, I didn't want her to go to.  I have NOTHING against the school, I have everything against the fact that we can't keep her there.  It will take an act of God for us to be able to afford to send her again next fall.  But, guess what?  An act of God put her there in the first place.   As I left her on her first day, I drove away with tears in my eyes, thanking God that He didn't give me what I prayed for for months.  As hard as it was to have doors shut in our faces, God revealed Himself in that situation and told me in an unforgettable voice that He cares for my babes more than I do.  I love that school and am so very thankful God put her there.

I can give countless examples from the past few months of God's infinite goodness.  And the best part is that I know He isn't going to stop. 

On a totally different note, I volunteered to help at the Ironman race here in L'ville Sunday.  What an amazing experience.  My station was in the marathon portion as I love to run and wanted to see the athletes doing something I could only dream of doing (run a marathon).  If you need a reminder, the Ironman consists of a 2 mile swim, a 126 mile bike ride, followed by a full marathon - 26 miles.  The experience was incredible.  Did I already say that?  The runners passed us a total of 4 times.  The last time they passed us was mile 22 for them.  Towards the end of the day I quit handing out sponges and water and chicken broth (seriously - gross huh?!?! who wants to drink warm chicken broth while running?!?!) and just cheered them on.  Their first names were on all their race tags and I cheered em on by name as they started on the homestretch of their journey.  They loved it!  Almost all of them looked back at me and said, "thank you".  These people have trained for months, probably dreamed for years about doing what they are doing.  I have so much respect for the participants, for all those that have set the goal and accomplished it.  I can't imagine what it would feel like to cross that finish line. 

The best part was that the median age of the athletes (3,000 participants) was between 35 and 40.  It was neat to see so many people in that age group accomplish something so huge. 

As I walked away from the event, a friend told me, "We should do that in 2011".  She is crazy.   

Anyways - it got me thinking.  Thinking about goals.  Thinking about how I have none.  Well, I have some but not many, really.  I've accomplished some small goals recently.  I completed the 30 Day Shred in 30 days.  I saved up enough money to buy us a new (to us) kitchen table and chairs.  The table was huge for me - my husband is the saver, I am the spender.  I've been having a consistent morning quiet time for 2 months shy of 1 year now.  But aside from silly things like the Shred and a new table, I don't have big goals, big dreams.  Obviously, I want to raise my 3 children to be well-rounded, God-lovin grown ups and I'd also like my marriage to be in tact, maybe even thriving, when the little birdies fly the coop but what else?!

The race got me to thinking that I'm never going to accomplish big unless I start thinking big.  As a stay at home mom of 3 (with extra kiddos in and out) I can start to feel confined to small spaces, small people, and small thinking. 

So - I'm putting it on my blog to have a sense of accountability.  I serve a big God and I'm going to start believing in Him for big things.  Big things for little ol me.  You should too!

The End

It seems to have hit me in the past weeks and months how much life as I've known it, since becoming a mother, is about to change drastically.  Addy starts school August 18th.  She was in preschool for 1/2 day but that doesn't hold a candle to kindergarten.  Just ask her, she'll tell you.  

I've spent the summer trying to soak up every last moment of having them all (and only them all - no spare children around during the summer time) at home.  We've read books, built couch forts, taken long walks, seen every animal at the zoo at least 10 times, run through the sprinkler, giggled, had picnics, swam wherever they'd let us, and just enjoyed our time together.  I've loved it. 

Addy's school situation didn't pan out the way we would have chosen it to.  But God has assured us that it did pan out the way He wanted it to.  She will go to a private, Christian kindergarten this fall.  God has already provided the means to send her there which is nothing short of miraculous.   In fact, the whole year's tuition, as of Monday, is marked "paid".  Brings tears to my eyes...

She and I went out to get school supplies the other day.  She made the comment, "This was more fun that I thought it would be", about half way through. 

K3rry has learned to ride his bike without training wheels over the past few weeks.  He is really proud of himself.  It took some persistence and led to several sore backs (mom and dad's) but the look on his face as he zooms around is worth it.  

Kain is a 2 year old boy.  Enough said.  God makes 2 year olds so darn cute so it would be harder to strangle them - I just know it.  I love the language development at 2.  New words every day.  I'm pretty sure the only thing he learned to do this summer is properly annoy his siblings.  In fact, I'd say he has perfected that.

Our summer included a trip to Georgia to see my sister's kids.  We had a blast.  Plain and simple.  It was good for my heart.

And that's all that comes to my mind at this very moment.  It is raining.  I let the kids watch PBS.  All is quiet...

Today I was so very fortunate to be able to attend a Mother's Day Tea at Addy's preschool.  It was so much fun.  Addy got all gussied up first this morning and encouraged me to do the same.  

The little darlings presented all their mommas with handmade crafts upon our arrival.  They (14 of them) all put on a program which included singing, poem reciting, and much giggling.  They also made (painted) pot holders for all of us moms.  There was a note attached to the gift bag that held the pot holder.  Addy's teacher had written (on the note), "I love my mommy because" on it and then filled in the rest according to what the little angel said about their momma.  Addy's read, "I love my mommy because she is pretty".  Her little friend Hannah's note read, "I love my mommy because we eat at restaurants as a family".  Ha! Ha!  Her mom admitted to me that she can't cook.    

Monday was K3rry's 4th birthday.  It was a fun day.  He absolutely loved his McQueen helmet. Too bad it has rained every single day since and we haven't been able to get outside.  That night as we were praying before bedtime, he prayed, "Dear God, I didn't get sheriff.  I really wanted him but didn't get him.  That make me sad.  Maybe I get him at my next birfday".  Sheriff is a toy car (also from Disney Cars movie) he has wanted for a while.  His prayer was like a dagger to my heart.  In all actuality, the car cost $4 but we don't go over a certain amount of money and I had already spent what we had budgeted.  So, no sheriff this year.  There is always Christmas, though.

Remember that peace I blogged about?  The peace about Addy's schooling?  I'll try to make a long story short......On her application, I listed 6 schools.  Our cluster has a total of 11 schools, I think.  You pick your top 6 in the order that you like them.  I had prayed over and prayed over and prayed over the schools I had written on that registration.  I was really at peace with her going to any of those schools.  Well, we received a letter from JCPS.  She didn't get into any of those schools I had picked for her.  She is currently accepted at a school in downtown Louisville.  Since the school wasn't any one of my choices, I thought the letter was a mistake. I called today.  No mistake. 

This school would have probably been my last choice out of her cluster.  I'm confused.  Nobody seems to be able to tell me why on earth she would have gotten placed in that school.   That leads me to frustration.  I know to these people Addy is just a number and that frustrates me even more.  I've just recently gotten to the place where I'm comfortable with her (all of our kids) going to public school.  That peace came partly because I was growing in confidence about our choice of schools.  Now that the choice seems to be out of my control, when I thought it was somewhat under my control, I'm quickly thrown me from peace to anxiety.  

I have 1 way to try and again get her into our first choice.  We are trying to figure out a plan B in case she doesn't get in....again.  I know that God has a plan for Addy.  I will choose to trust that plan.  She isn't mine.  She is ultimately His, on loan to me for a short time.    And now, I pray for a deeper trust. 

All for now...